Posts by Granny Linda

32

The Black & White Thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses---Are You Still Affected?

by minimus in

jw
friends

as witnesses, we were taught how to think.

we were force fed whatever "mother" told us was best for us.

we were constantly having ideas "inculcated" into us.

Granny Linda

Now that Min, would be me. That judgemental thing.

One day the thought finally came to me {slow learner that I am} about being so damn judgemental of others. I really didn't like what I saw within, but it also took a long time to associate such negative thinking with my JW rearing.

Truthfully I would walk around in my usual mind whizzing thoughts about everything (neurotic too), and question myself as to how I had become that way. And then the got brighter. It was having been raised in a environment where everyone is judged. It just doesn't make any difference who/what it is...Jw's will judge one way or another.

At that time in my life a good friend reminded me that I did need to make judgement calls about whom I'd associate with. So, it is about learning balance between the then and the now. I'm still quick to make judgements of others, but hopefully quicker to dismiss much of my own bs before it takes root, again.

I am probably my worst enemy because now I know and understand that I am responsible - it cannot matter how I was raised. And sometimes I think I'm just too damn old to care about being politically correct - which is definetly being judgemental. Or, is it just being strongly opinionated.

GL

32

The Black & White Thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses---Are You Still Affected?

by minimus in

jw
friends

as witnesses, we were taught how to think.

we were force fed whatever "mother" told us was best for us.

we were constantly having ideas "inculcated" into us.

Granny Linda

That's too funny.

Well, it did take many years to sort through that one...dispite the fact my BIL years ago told me I thought only in terms of black/white. What could he possibly know being Catholic.

I would like to think that I'm not as prone to the attitude of this way or that...but have instead taught myself how to reconize unhealthy thinking before it gets the better of me. {being human does have it's ups/downs} Thank goodness for recovery.

If what my son asked me the other day is any indicator of slow recovery in some areas, whereas other areas of my person seemingly have healed faster...his comment gave me pause;

"Just how screwed up did that religion make you!"

Yipes. Guess it's not so much how screwed up I was/can be, as much as it is knowing that I don't have to stay that way. So it's one day at a time, one foot in front of the other..doda doda.

GL, of the "don't preach religion to my grandchildren", class.

8

Why do my family still treat me like I have the "plague"?

by booker-t in

jw
friends

when i "disassociated" myself in the early 90's i thought that finally i could go on with my life and not have to be subjuected to wt rules and regulations.

wrong!

my family will not let it go.

Granny Linda

booker-

I'm so sorry hearing about this incident with your brother. One of the reasons I stopped reading on any forums for former JW's was reading and re-rereading about such abuse. It friggen sickens me, and I've been df for 33 years and pretty much worked through my issues - and then those evil bastards rear their ugly head and my blood pressure goes up.

"Apostate" must be their favorite word. Ignorant, ignorant people.

A little history of my own to share; lets see...15 years ago I was new into my recovery and wasn't very nice while at my one sister's home. Her comments about "I will not love my son if he grows up to be a homosexual...nor love my daugher if she becomes a prostitute" blah blah blah, simply made me angry and she knew it.

Years later I had opportunity to speak on the phone with her, sorta testing the waters because she was at that time just another hypocrite fence riding wanna be, never baptised JW. Anyhow, she told me "you are a bad influence on my family and I want nothing to do with you." Okey dokey.

Now, all those years later I happen to meet up with her while she is delivering the mail and foolishly think that perhaps we can be civil because I did wish to make my amend for having been so verbal those many years ago. After her phoney attempt to inquire if I knew about our aunt being in ill health {as if she ever has contact with our aunt anyhow} I bit my tongue. Actually I bit my tongue on many things that day because we came full circle to her once again saying, "You have always entertained apostate ideas. You are a bad influence on my family and I want nothing to do with you." Okey, dokey.

Well just last week I saw her again and this time I just stared at her as she was forced (delivering mail) to walk past me and my one grandchild. Her discomfort at seeing me was obvious, but I will never attempt to speak with her again under any circumstances. I've had enough of JW's and their hate filled, self righteousness to last me a lifetime.

Did it hurt those many years ago being shunned? although your situation is different and where is cause for shunning...because you, we, are the apostate in their narrow and unthinking pee brain. I have much contempt for what that organization represents - acted out by individuals that believe themselves superior to anyone else...in all matters.

I no longer cry, I longer "wish" things were different. I just got on with my life ever thankful to be out of harms way in regard to that screwy religion. It took years though for me to come to acceptance of the way things are - not the way I wish they were. They really cannot hurt me any longer, and they are the one's living in fear every waking moment. Yet I do not feel sorry for them in the least.

My favorite expression at the moment is "Jw's are hypocritical pigs." If that's too strong of language, so be it.

Hey, I found out our one neighbor was raised JW...his dad being an alcoholic elder and all. hahahaha

Stand tall and firm in your conviction of having done the good deed by disassociating yourself from evil.

GL, of the I wanna picket the local KH, class. Cheers.

4

Who are the crouches?

by IronGland in

jw
friends

the opening salvo has been fired!

a two-page article discussing the.

"secret double life" of paul and jan crouchhas appeared in the.

Granny Linda

When we had television hooked up it was disgusting flipping through the channels and seeing those people. {Sorry, but they can turn the stomach sour} At the same time these tele-jesus freaks are a good reminder from whence I came. Truth has little to do with generating untold millions from the believers.

Years ago I read a good book by Austin Miles entitled, "Don't Call Me Brother..." his experience with the PTL Club during the Baker heyday. It helped me to realize it wasn't just the JW's that hide behind money and control of the flock. So, when I first saw this Crouche (sp) couple doing the same hideous side show...yada yada yada.

Thanks for the juicy news though. Truth is stranger then fiction.

gl

22

Just pass me a cigarette and hold on

by Eyebrow2 in

jw
friends

been a while since i have had a chance to visit the board.

a lot of things have happened...dealing with some business crap....ending one and starting a new one with a partner this time...dealing with child custody issues...my husband was laid off....just general stress....arghhhh!!!!.

everything is going to work out i am sure...but i bought my first pack of cigarettes in 10 years on sunday.

Granny Linda

I got a chuckle from this thread. The dreaded cigarettes!!!! OH NO!

It's sorta funny when I look around my environment that somehow...HUMMMM consists of older adult females that find it near impossible passing up some of that reefer madness. Interesting.

Years ago when I was in the depths of that "change of life" syndrome and really needed some help with a mental shift in thinking...rather than prescribe to the legal Prozac and/or any one of the numerous drugs available for lots of $$$$ - I ran to my neighbor searching for a puff on a bowl or a bong. For myself it was better then picking up a drink.

When I saw my fence riding JW sister two years ago she was really surprised that I had not quit smoking cigarettes as she had...but, she did tell me all about her "happy pill" {her words} Prozac. I found that rather ironic but didn't say anything.

Whatever ails the moment for you...I'll keep good thoughts going your way because that old addage is so true. This too shall pass.

gl

5

When Can I be Selfish??

by snbdye2000 in

jw
friends

i am not a jehovah's witness, nor have ever been.

i cannot even come close to relating what that is like.

however, my husband has been studying with them.

Granny Linda

Ya know, I used to think myself selfish for many reasons. Much of which came from an engrained JW mindset that certainly creates a neurosis. I have no advise, just wanted too acknowledge your post because I've been through those rough spots in my marriage(s); although they were not related to religion, which I'd imagine must be one of the most difficult situations to deal with - conflicting religious beliefs. (((Hugs)))

When my husband and I first got together some 10 years ago the first thing I told him was that should he embrace Christianity in any fashion or form - it wouldn't work. Just my experience shared. I'd had enough of people telling me how to live my life and would (will) not tolerate it from even him.

In our instance...all's well that ends well. There are no easy answers...just remember not to give up who you are for the sake of a religion that is anti-life, anti-happiness and full of negativity.

Stay of good cheer

gl

8

TELL ME YOUR LONELY B-DAY STORIES!!

by tresbella in

jw
friends

my 21 birthday was saturday.

goodbye late nights; hello botox!

) i was kinda sad b/c i was hoping this year i would be able to have my first b-day party since i found out through my own research that celebrating them are not wrong.. but i was not able to plan a party or anything (hopefully next year).

Granny Linda

If I knew how to do more on this computer then turn it on/off, I'd be more than happy sending you a really neat bd pic...but since I've confessed to my errrr- ignorance of such matters let this suffice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TRESBELLA...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

Granny, of the "I'm not lonely anymore on my bd." There is hope...and many more happy birthdays to come your way.

gl

3

Bob Geldof fights for Fathers Rights...

by bull01lay in

jw
friends

did anyone see the documentary last night on c4 - hopefully highlighting the plight of many fathers over here in the uk!!.

i watched it in tatters.... it brought back some very painful memories, and reminded me of the precariousness of my own 'contact' with my little girl.

it also reminded me of the unnacceptable prejudism towards men in the so called "family law".. in a society that demands equal rights for women, ethnic minorities, homosexuals, lesbians, disabled... people seem to have forgotten about 'ordinary' men.

Granny Linda

Unfortunetly I see too many mothers that have anything but the interests of their children at heart, and yet the father is negated as the boogy man.

Or, on the flip side of what is seen...the mother, again, has no skills in basic home care and the father comes in after his "duty" as $$$ provider just too clean the house and tend the children.

I've been absent from this board for many months and just recently began reading. Although I'm not familiar with much of Corvin's case...my heart swelled up two sizes too big for the children involved.

It is time to end such ignorant thinking about the role fathers play in their children's life - no matter what country. American "justice" ain't always so just either.

GL

16

The NEED for Acknowledgement and Validation..what do you think?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i was flipping thru the channels a few minutes ago and the oprah show was on with an interview with tatum o'neal .

i havent watched all of the show but from what i can get from it so far,,,,,,tatum has a bad relationship with her father , she has written a book about it all.

she and oprah were talking about what could make her have peace with her father and so on .

Granny Linda

That validation is a basic human need, but one we rarily received as a JW.

It took years for me to reconize that much of my own sense of worth came from my jobs. It puzzled me for a long time why I would question promotions, etc. What did those people see in me that I could not reconize within...and so it's been a long road of recovery. And I'm glad to say the worst is behind me.

"Today" is the important one. How do I validate and acknowledge others? By not using shame as an attack upon their person - as was done not only me, but so many others whether or not we were raised in a sickening religion.

I was told many years ago when first getting into recovery (actually it's been 17 years) that it was a process of self discovery. And I've discovered that I am worthy and my voice does matter.

GL

5

Remembering

by Granny Linda in

jw
friends

i spoke with my elderly aunt yesterday about much of what i've read over this past week...catching up on the best of series...well, some of it anyhow; and her comments echoed much of what many former jw's have already spoken of.. she reminded me how many years ago when her one grandchild needed a blood transfusion and her daughter had called in a panic...my aunt simply told her to do what she felt for best for the child - not the church.

or, the sometimes humerous stories of field service - the dreaded thought that someone might actually answer their door.

my aunt releated how her own father had once asked if she wanted to "pioneer" and when my aunt told him, "no" my grandfather had the most shocked look on his face.

Granny Linda

I spoke with my elderly aunt yesterday about much of what I've read over this past week...catching up on The Best of Series...well, some of it anyhow; and her comments echoed much of what many former JW's have already spoken of.

She reminded me how many years ago when her one grandchild needed a blood transfusion and her daughter had called in a panic...my aunt simply told her to do what she felt for best for the child - not the church. Or, the sometimes humerous stories of field service - the dreaded thought that someone might actually answer their door.

My aunt releated how her own father had once asked if she wanted to "pioneer" and when my aunt told him, "no" my grandfather had the most shocked look on his face.

Needless to say my aunt has long ago been df, but the memories are still there along with the endless shunning from family. And she is near 80 years of age now. At any rate my beloved Aunt Jeannie sends each and everyone of you her love.

GL